indecision

So I check the blog out from time to time, but I have not posted in forever, and honestly I don't know if I want to (but it looks like I am). Here is my dilemma - I love having the connection with every one but I am not sure if this works for me. Well, I don't think I made it work for me last time. I always felt like I was eating too much or unnaturally because I was trying too hard to eat balanced meals. For me I feel like what I really need to work on is exercise....and from time to time to tame my sweet tooth :) I do have to remember that this is never really my tough time of year - my bad eating habits usually don't creep up until late January or so...

I like my food. I like food and I don't enjoy over analyzing it. I feel like I have finally (for now) gotten to the point where I have pretty healthy 'staple' foods in the house. Most of the grains are whole wheat (all but some white rice from time to time). I make freezer meals every few weeks so when I have zero time there is still decent food to eat. My eating habits have been keeping me at a steady weight but I really want to loose about 10-15 pounds or about 2 pant sizes.

So, where does this leave me? I like the idea of exercise, but I just don't feel like getting off my butt!! I fantasize about running effortlessly, feeling free and powerful - the reality is that I don't get far before I am huffing and puffing. I know I need to stop these unrealistic ideas from getting in the way of reality. In my head it is like 'well I cant do it all, so why do it at all,' such nonsense!

SUnday
tea w/milk
handful of tortilla chips, few bites of grilled chicken burrito
more and more and more tea
sm brownie
vegetable soup w/lentils and barely
steamed cauliflower
1 cutie
no exercise


MOnday
tea with milk
apple, 1/2 a pbj on ww(whole wheat) sourdough,
short dub nf latte
yogurt, thawed blueberries, almonds, shredded coconut, and honey
ww pasta, turkey meatballs, tomato sauce and sauteed kale or a salad
no exercise